Ventilating issues

I love confessions.  I often feel like writing things out makes me feel better.

I am working on another project (day job) and one of my colleagues likes to use the phrase “ventilate issues” when we need to have difficult discussions.  I just love that phrase.  So now I want to ventiliate one of my writing issues.

I am doing a re-draft of my short stories.  I am committed to putting something out there soon.  But I am having a hard time silencing my inner critic.  There are some stories that I can’t even bring myself to open up on Scrivener. I am trying all sorts of jedi mind tricks to get myself into it and it’s just hard.

I have always said that I am a better editor than I am a drafter but it looks like my mind wants to show me that it’s not so. I understand that if I re-draft I will feel better about the project.  I know that getting closer to publishing gets me closer to my dream.

I think I am afraid.  Afraid that I cannot produce more than what was in the first draft.  I am afraid that I will piss off my muse and we can’t work.

And then I am struggling with the idea of going pro.  I read somewhere that good writers are born when they decide to go pro.  The whole idea being that when you decide to be professional about your writing, when you cultivate the discipline, then you begin to make big strides.  It seems to me that deciding is not enough.  There’s still a lot more to be done beyond the affirmation. There’s the doing thing… man, I have twisted myself up in knots.

Anyway. I thought if I confess then I will be able to write more.

Ok. There. Issues ventilated.