The big blue bus with the rusted, dented front – brown and mangled – was headed for me. In a rush to get across the road, I had bent my ankle over my four-inch high heel, promptly landed on my bum in the middle of the road. Somehow, the shock of it all wiped out any reaction time I had. My head turned to the left, all I could see was blue, brown dents. The world was rather quiet too – I think there might have been some people screaming or shouting, waving hands. This guy, the driver of the blue-brown mass of tetanus potential couldn’t see me.
They say life flashes before your eyes moments before you face death. I am not sure that there’s much to see in my eyes. Life was just beginning for me. Finished school. Great job. Paying down my credit cards. I was standing outside my sorry deer-in-headlights arrested body, waiting for a colorful death.
Impact. Blood everywhere.
I think I felt shooting pain everywhere as the mass of liquids and squishes that I am was splattered across the black tarmac. Hot, melting, rusty bloody smells.
Looking behind me, the shock on the woman’s face – the lady in red holding a young baby in her arms, shielding her eyes. The gentleman in a suit who might have been running to pull me from the road, finally registering that I was not able to move. I felt the life suck out of me, ooze as the outside me was pulled to the dead me.
Zip. I was back and I was dying… blood was dripping from my eyes like tears.
What a painful, painful death.
Crossing roads have a weird effect on me.
I am approaching the road and these images flood my mind. I wonder if this morbidity is a sign of silent suicidal thoughts. I am crossing the road. Safe on the other side. I guess I didn’t die today.