So right before the COVID-19 lockdown and restricted movement shenanigans, I attended a writers salon and read for a group of people (most of who I did not know). It was a big night for me and I think I wrote about it here… though I am pretty sure I had a few more reactions to that night that I should delve into in another post… it was quite heavy stuff so maybe I will wait.
I think I love this word – delve… it’s got the right mix of sophistication without being too uppity and feels good when I write it and say it in my head… Slight digression but anywayyyy….
I am challenging myself and being really intentional about writing some sex scenes in my new romance novel. I skirted around this in my first book… I was slightly uncomfortable because I kept thinking about all the people that I know that would read that book. Also, there is a little voice inside that tells me that worse than people judging me for writing about sex, they would make judgements about my own preferences or experience.
Oy… very complex this… but you know, I think a good sex scene couched in a moving romance can be distinguishing and really elevate a story. As I am an avid reader of romance, I do think that a good love making leads to more satisfaction for the reader … from a story line perspective…
I think love making also provides the writer a more intimate space to explore complex issues about love and loving that would be difficult to otherwise delve into… you’d think that with such intimate spaces, a good sex scene can hopefully lead to an even better understanding of the characters, what motivates them, and really what they are looking for… but I am yet to overcome this fear of being silently judged.
I also think that there is also this African side of me that just feels shame about writing so openly about sex. This is more problematic because I think that the consumption of our stories requires a venture into those uncomfortable spaces and my hesitation maybe points to the need to soften and immerse myself into this experience. I imagine that this resistance is also about my ego and it’s rigid judgement about being open about sex and pleasure.
Whatever the reason may be, I think I owe it to myself to be brave and embrace this challenge.
I have decided to be intentional about facing this fear and write a couple of isolated sex scenes and see how I feel about it. I am wondering whether they are worth posting in the Confessional but I think I will decide when I get to a sizeable number. Maybe when I review them I will understand whether love making is in my repertoire of writing skills or not. I might even be able to confront and put to bed (— see what I did there — tee hee) this rigidity that makes me so aware of what is natural for lovers to do and for romance writers to describe.
Do you see how many times I used delve? Love this word. Maybe I will use it in all my sex scenes… mmmhhh…
*Oh wish me luck!*