Commentary on life

Trip of a lifetime

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So I am on the trip of a lifetime. I am overcome by the beauty of nature and how easy it is to lose sight of what is important in life.  Driving through this scenic road I am incredibly humbled by the awesomeness of creation and how human beings will do everything to connect to nature.  It takes courage to pursue this call to “commune with nature.”

As we zip through these gorgeous little towns I wonder about the lives they live everyday.  Do they feel that they are a part of something bigger or grander than the little or expansive space that they occupy in time? Or it is just me who is so overwhelmed by the vastness of the space that is around me?

Lately, I feel an out of this world type of urge to respond to an inner calling.  I am scared of what it means. Usually I can take decisions easily but I find that reaching for greatness takes a lot more than I thought – than I think – that I possess.

One thing is clear.  This life that I am living is the trip of a lifetime and wouldn’t it be wonderful if I lived it extraordinarily!

On brave new things

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So I did something so brave today and it was totally not what I expected.  In this space that I voluntarily led myself, I was completely and truly vulnerable and I am not sure that I enjoyed it.

I was able to really confront myself and I am not sure I liked what I saw reflected back.

All these people who claim self love is natural clearly have not been brought up around religion, tradition, and societies built wholly on expectations that serve only to carmoflauge reality.

My experience is that it is so hard to love myself because of all these expectations I have.  And truly seeing myself is even harder.  I am more than happy to pretend that I embrace myself even when I know that my heart is far behind my mind.  And when I know that the struggle of adulthood is to make sure that mind-heart alignment is right.

What’s even harder is when what your mind believes is so much farther from what your heart reflects back.  Or to be in space where your inner person is so separated and distanced and far away from your physical self.  And to be in a place where your rational mind is so completely aware that correction to balance and alignement is a life principle – so it’s better to act than be forced to act.

Oh the fear. I am afraid.

But perhaps I am also brave.

Living the dream

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I tell you. The things that writing can teach you… it’s amazing.

The dream to be a writer that actually writes (as opposed to the other kind that is seemingly in a perpetual state of writer’s block) is one that I have longed to live for a while now.  I finally had a breakthrough a few weeks ago.

It was like magic. I was not sure what triggered it – but it was everything I dreamed it would be.   The writing was flowing from secret place inside.  It is effortless.  I do not have to push myself, threaten my ego, or google “how to write while having a strenuous day job” like fifteen thousand times. And wow isn’t it glorious? I am totally happy. Fulfilled. And all that jazz.

So I was waxing about the life lessons from this experience and it’s as simple as profound truths often are… I need to trust myself and the inner magic that fires up my dream.