So today was a good day. Pooch had a day out and I felt like a good dog parent. I also woke up early – did my writing – did some work – all in all, I felt like an accomplished human being.
While driving back home – Pooch and I were alone in the car – I turned to look at him. He had the most searching look in his eyes. I smiled with such tenderness because I felt at once, loved and pitied to no end. I know I was projecting my feelings on the poor dog but the adoration was real. And while my heart sighed with the knowledge that my dog really does love me, I felt incredibly alone in this moment. I had to turn my eyes back on the road – but I silently wondered the last time that a human looked at me the way my dear Pooch did.
I honestly can’t remember.
This made me sad. Sad because longing is a powerful emotion. Sad because as a romance writer, having a powerful, earthshaking love is par for the course… or in my case, should be part of the deal. Sad because sometimes it takes a long while for love to circle back around. Sad because I hate having to ask the universe when it will be my turn (because, of course, my love story will be epic-ly laden with kismet and lots of universe conspiring nonsense).
I have to admit – I am feeling a little bit of a pity party coming along – honestly and truly, today was not a good day for my sighing heart.
And so now I will do what every good writer does: I will sit in this feeling because I will remember it again – and maybe it will inspire me when I write.